Just a quick blogpost about how to turn up the volume on your play. How do you normaly play out of fear or love? Are you afraid of being or playing to much or to little. I think its a huge difference. How long do you dare to go, how far can you push your submissive? I just got feedback that I managed to stretch his limits and play on the edge without the play to turn into yellow or red. So how did i do that? Here are some tips how to dare to go a bit further:
1. Stay present your self, be there the whole time, thats so fucking important dont play if you cant stay present.
2. Force your sub to breath, notice every shift in the breathing and follow the rythm when you play. I always follow the breathing and read my submissive that way.
3. You also must know how strong your are your self. Every hit with the tool must be with precision. Before you give the last hit in that round you must be sure it is that hit.
4. In the beginning give a bit less than he or she wants to build trust. When there is trust you both can go as long as you want.
So do you dare to play a bit more, a bit deeper, a bit closer, a bit more intense? Steam it up in the summerheat!
I have lately been experimenting with a lot of switching for my self. During the same evening and weekends going back and forth all the time. Many people in this world point out that you are a special role. As if I am dominant and You are submissive. For me its not like that there are different energies and flavours that you more or less could embrace and play with. Dance with if you dare to.
In my workshops I use to say that run as fast as u can if somebody say that they ”Are Dominant”. And I ask them about their ordinary life, their job etc. Everybody is submissive to someone. Even if u are a CEO of a big company, You report to the board and are submissive to your clients and shareholders. So take a moment and get out of the dungeon or the bedroom and think about who are You submissive to? What qualities do that person have? How do they act and how do they behave? There you have the qualities that you can use as Dominant in your BDSM play!
If you like to practice more on this, bring your partner and we can train together – I give couplesessions where I train and coach you in dominating and spanking eachother.
Enjoy the summernights, play more!//Sofia
As many of u know I am totally open with what I do. Some people like what I say and some don’t. Your kink is your kink and my kink is my kink. And I totally respect your integrity and if you like to be anonymous about your lifestyle. That’s what I like in this context. But stil I got some feedback after this interview on national TV. But as u know when u get your 5 minutes of fame – its all about to don’t stop talking….
In the future I will post some short videos here about how I see it and what I think about BDSM, TANTRA and life in general. Because for me its all a part of life I cant live without.
But till then here I am.
Have a nice presummer//Sofia
Are you submissive or a slave?
Many people contact me and ask if I need a slave. The slave concept is for me very outdated it smells old days. The name slave reminds me about the movie Rötter and its very much connected to the black freedom movement. And stil today we have slavetrade but we call it trafficking.
The word submissive is for me more tasty. Its more power in the word as well. When I play with someone I expect them to be my human equal but in the play we set some rules that he or she is submissive to me. During years of playing I have also come to the knowledge that all the power is in the hands of the submissive. He or she is the one that decides if to play more or less. They set the boundaries and if the submissive have a bad day there isn’t much play that day.
Of course its just a way of creating polarity that we use this kinds of words, but isn’t the energy there and the polarity can be made without you being the slave and I being the Mistress we might not dare to play.
So if you like to play with me I am quite sure you wont be my slave the first times that I promise you, but I promise If you book a session I will sure make you my submissive. On the other hand its about energy and playfullness anyway.
Do you dare to play???
- Because it makes you feel more juicy, vibrante and alive!
- Because its all about fun! Its just a game and the tools in BDSM is very usefull sometimes if you like to play.
- To get more present when you are too much in your brain.
- When I first discovered that pain could be pleasure I thought I was crazy, but now I know I am not. For me playing with the BDSM tools all is about getting more into my body and and get more I touch with my self.
- Just because you are afraid of it it might be the way for you – do you dare to try?
- It’s a perfect tool to create polarity with.
- To live out and play with your fantasies.
- It’s a perfect way of active meditation – when going into subspace or domspace – the whole world stops spinning for a while and it becomes silent in my head.
- To get more horny and have a more fun sexlife
- Why not? Try and see if you like it!
So are You ready to start? Do You dare?
Hon testade mina gränser och tänjde dem något – hon gav mig precis så mycket smärta som jag klarade av
Sofia Cerne vurmar för det feminina perspektivet där hon snabbt känner in vad som behöver göras. Hon har mångårig erfarenhet som diplomerad coach och har lett många grupper. Sin version av tantrisk massage kallar hon Xtasmassage kan du läsa om här.
Hon driver Xtas för att du ska hitta mer extas och tantrisk energi i ditt liv. Hon ger framför allt privatsessioner på egen hand och tillsammans med andra. Hon har många ledarskaps- och personlig utvecklingskurser med sig i bagaget. Massagen har hon lärt sig på många tantrakurser och är även inspirerad av både Thai- och Auyrvediskmassage.
Bland favoritinspiratörer kan nämnas Barbara Carellas , Johan Ekenberg, David Deida, Alex Vartman.
Den eviga coachen är min nu döda mamma, främsta förebild mormor som uppmanade henne vara själv, vänner och bekanta och kollegor som finns på Darkside med fler online forum.