X-mas challenge nr 1

One week ago I got the idea to write in the blog as a calendar…to open one small present each day. Yesterday my computer broke…sign?

My first gift to you is some reflections and questions.

Are you living your life like you want to live it? Do you have enough sex? Do you have sex with the one you want to have sex with? We don’t have to be that explicit, who do you want to meet today and grab a cup of coffee with?

Always when we interact in a more present and tantric way we need to know our self and our needs before we can try and play with someone else. So today try to listen to your self, coffee or tea? Sex or not? With who? Just do it, honor your self!!!

Importance of living in xtasy – life and death!!!

IMG_4327Sorry for not posting so much on the blog…Been busy exploring life and death. This summer I followed my mother that died from cancer. And now I am following a dear friend on the same journey. This kind of process really shows me that I am greatfull beyond words from my BDSM and tantric journey.

Learning to live and explore xtasy and deep feelings and emotions have prepared me for this. Even though you really cant prepare because every deathjourney is unique. What I do to survive in this and even learn from it is really trying to find xtasy and play with energy and God as much as I can. Trying to stay present no matter what…and expressing my gratitude for everyting that is good.

If you are curious about what I do and how I do it, try a session with me.  Are you afraid of death are you afraid of life!!!



I am going on a shorter tour…Malmö and Gothenburg and are available for sessions on the 11 and the 13 of october in Göteborg and one spot left in Malmö on the 11 of oct. Contact me for more info

miniworkshop – Life in xtas!

Saturday I gave a workshop – live life more in xtas! It was just a small miniworkshop as a teaser to my workshop Pain and Pleasure. In the morning I went to the store to buy toys for the workshop, Clothpins and flywhips for everyone. I like more to play with things that are not connected to the BDSM world, to make it more undramatic. When I was supposed to pay – the cashier – ohh so many are they for spanking??? Its apparently that obvious…I didnt really answer…

Well at the center where I work – there was a nice group with curious people – wanting to explore more about this fun topic. We worked with energy, polarity…leading and following and some pain and presence training, and finished up with putting all the men in a circle – supporting each other, while the women danced around giving the a hard time with the whips. Everybody had a good time – so all people out there – play more!!!


Yes – a Dominaworkshop coming up 19th of Sept

20150804_110316As Dominatrix I meet many submissive men longing for their women dare to dominate them. This workshop is about that…

Get the courage to give pain but also more erotic domination. Many men find their masculine and dominant side through their feminine or submissive side, would not it be cool to meet your partner in this?

During this workshop you will get to practice to find your Domina thorough your feminine and inner power.
Through a variety of practical exercises, we appeal to Dominan in you and strengthen her.
You also get to practice and learn to spank with different tools.
We will also talk and share tips and tricks and some teaching of course.

The workshop is suitable for all sexual preferences – you dont have to dominate a man …

Sofia is used to leading groups and allways create a safe space. Said about this workshop “, she leads naturally”, “extremely instructive,” “Now I’m going home and practicing.”

Refreshments and fruit will be served during the breaks.

Price SEK 750 is paid against an invoice before the course starts.

Application by 10 Sept to info@xtas.nu – only here is not enough. Limited number of participants so do not hesitate sign up as soon as possible!

Warmly welcome // Sofia

Steam it up in the summerheat

Just a quick blogpost about how to turn up the volume on your play. How do you normaly play out of fear or love? Are you afraid of being or playing to much or to little. I think its a huge difference. How long do you dare to go, how far can you push your submissive? I just got feedback that I managed to stretch his limits and play on the edge without the play to turn into yellow or red. So how did i do that? Here are some tips how to dare to go a bit further:
1. Stay present your self, be there the whole time, thats so fucking important dont play if you cant stay present.
2. Force your sub to breath, notice every shift in the breathing and follow the rythm when you play. I always follow the breathing and read my submissive that way.
3. You also must know how strong your are your self. Every hit with the tool must be with precision. Before you give the last hit in that round you must be sure it is that hit.
4. In the beginning give a bit less than he or she wants to build trust. When there is trust you both can go as long as you want.
So do you dare to play a bit more, a bit deeper, a bit closer, a bit more intense? Steam it up in the summerheat!

Everybody is submissive to someone!

I have lately been experimenting with a lot of switching for my self. During the same evening and weekends going back and forth all the time. Many people in this world point out that you are a special role. As if I am dominant and You are submissive. For me its not like that there are different energies and flavours that you more or less could embrace and play with. Dance with if you dare to.

In my workshops I use to say that run as fast as u can if somebody say that they ”Are Dominant”. And I ask them about their ordinary life, their job etc. Everybody is submissive to someone. Even if u are a CEO of a big company, You report to the board and are submissive to your clients and shareholders. So take a moment and get out of the dungeon or the bedroom and think about who are You submissive to? What qualities do that person have? How do they act and how do they behave? There you have the qualities that you can use as Dominant in your BDSM play!

If you like to practice more on this, bring your partner and we can train together – I give couplesessions where I train and coach you in dominating and spanking eachother.

Enjoy the summernights, play more!//Sofia



As many of u know I am totally open with what I do. Some people like what I say and some don’t. Your kink is your kink and my kink is my kink. And I totally respect your integrity and if you like to be anonymous about your lifestyle. That’s what I like in this context. But stil I got some feedback after this interview on national TV. But as u know when u get your 5 minutes of fame – its all about to don’t stop talking….

In the future I will post some short videos here about how I see it and what I think about BDSM, TANTRA and life in general. Because for me its all a part of life I cant live without.

But till then here I am.

Have a nice presummer//Sofia

Slave or Submissive?

Are you submissive or a slave?

Many people contact me and ask if I need a slave. The slave concept is for me very outdated it smells old days. The name slave reminds me about the movie Rötter and its very much connected to the black freedom movement. And stil today we have slavetrade but we call it trafficking.

The word submissive is for me more tasty. Its more power in the word as well. When I play with someone I expect them to be my human equal but in the play we set some rules that he or she is submissive to me. During years of playing I have also come to the knowledge that all the power is in the hands of the submissive. He or she is the one that decides if to play more or less. They set the boundaries and if the submissive have a bad day there isn’t much play that day.

Of course its just a way of creating polarity that we use this kinds of words, but isn’t the energy there and the polarity can be made without you being the slave and I being the Mistress we might not dare to play.

So if you like to play with me I am quite sure you wont be my slave the first times that I promise you, but I promise If you book a session I will sure make you my submissive. On the other hand its about energy and playfullness anyway.Nacke

Do you dare to play???

Why BDSM? My top ten!

  1. Because it makes you feel more juicy, vibrante and alive!
  2. Because its all about fun! Its just a game and the tools in BDSM is very usefull sometimes if you like to play.
  3. To get more present when you are too much in your brain.
  4. When I first discovered that pain could be pleasure I thought I was crazy, but now I know I am not. For me playing with the BDSM tools all is about getting more into my body and and get more I touch with my self.
  5. Just because you are afraid of it it might be the way for you – do you dare to try?
  6. It’s a perfect tool to create polarity with.
  7. To live out and play with your fantasies.
  8. It’s a perfect way of active meditation – when going into subspace or domspace – the whole world stops spinning for a while and it becomes silent in my head.
  9. To get more horny and have a more fun sexlife
  10. Why not? Try and see if you like it!

So are You ready to start? Do You dare?

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