X-mas challenge 5

How do you know if you have a feminine or masculine core? (If you don’t know what I mean by that, read more about David Deida, Google or Youtube)

There is a quick answer or you can go into long stories… Do you prefer to be fucked or to you prefer to fuck? Are you the one on top or at the bottom? Could be transferred to are you dominant or submissive according to sex?

Think about that before you go to bed tonight…

X-mas challenge 3

Are you happy with your lover or boss?

Many friends of mine complain over their boss, he or she is doing that and not doing this… Sounds familiar?

If it would been a lover you would break up, wouldn’t you? Or at least try to solve the problem.

I once told a friend you have to make a choice, be submissive to your boss or quit.

This is your challenge to day, maybe not to quit, but think about the situation you are in, are you submissive and in true acceptance of the situation? Or do you have an inner complainer keep nagging? Is it time to move on at work or in the relationship?

X-mas challenge 2

Submissive or weak? Codewords rules!

Many people outside the BDSM community often make a similarity between weakness and submissive. We with some insights know for sure this is completely wrong.

As dominant you can’t continue play when your submissive don’t want any more, that would be rape or abuse. As submissive you are always free to use the codeword agreed upon. Is that even possible in daily life? Think if we at the workplace tomorrow would start say Yellow or Red? How would your workplace work if you start to use codewords instead of complaining?

Steam it up in the summerheat

Just a quick blogpost about how to turn up the volume on your play. How do you normaly play out of fear or love? Are you afraid of being or playing to much or to little. I think its a huge difference. How long do you dare to go, how far can you push your submissive? I just got feedback that I managed to stretch his limits and play on the edge without the play to turn into yellow or red. So how did i do that? Here are some tips how to dare to go a bit further:
1. Stay present your self, be there the whole time, thats so fucking important dont play if you cant stay present.
2. Force your sub to breath, notice every shift in the breathing and follow the rythm when you play. I always follow the breathing and read my submissive that way.
3. You also must know how strong your are your self. Every hit with the tool must be with precision. Before you give the last hit in that round you must be sure it is that hit.
4. In the beginning give a bit less than he or she wants to build trust. When there is trust you both can go as long as you want.
So do you dare to play a bit more, a bit deeper, a bit closer, a bit more intense? Steam it up in the summerheat!

Everybody is submissive to someone!

I have lately been experimenting with a lot of switching for my self. During the same evening and weekends going back and forth all the time. Many people in this world point out that you are a special role. As if I am dominant and You are submissive. For me its not like that there are different energies and flavours that you more or less could embrace and play with. Dance with if you dare to.

In my workshops I use to say that run as fast as u can if somebody say that they ”Are Dominant”. And I ask them about their ordinary life, their job etc. Everybody is submissive to someone. Even if u are a CEO of a big company, You report to the board and are submissive to your clients and shareholders. So take a moment and get out of the dungeon or the bedroom and think about who are You submissive to? What qualities do that person have? How do they act and how do they behave? There you have the qualities that you can use as Dominant in your BDSM play!

If you like to practice more on this, bring your partner and we can train together – I give couplesessions where I train and coach you in dominating and spanking eachother.

Enjoy the summernights, play more!//Sofia


Slave or Submissive?

Are you submissive or a slave?

Many people contact me and ask if I need a slave. The slave concept is for me very outdated it smells old days. The name slave reminds me about the movie Rötter and its very much connected to the black freedom movement. And stil today we have slavetrade but we call it trafficking.

The word submissive is for me more tasty. Its more power in the word as well. When I play with someone I expect them to be my human equal but in the play we set some rules that he or she is submissive to me. During years of playing I have also come to the knowledge that all the power is in the hands of the submissive. He or she is the one that decides if to play more or less. They set the boundaries and if the submissive have a bad day there isn’t much play that day.

Of course its just a way of creating polarity that we use this kinds of words, but isn’t the energy there and the polarity can be made without you being the slave and I being the Mistress we might not dare to play.

So if you like to play with me I am quite sure you wont be my slave the first times that I promise you, but I promise If you book a session I will sure make you my submissive. On the other hand its about energy and playfullness anyway.Nacke

Do you dare to play???

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